I had a terrible dream last night that the Chiefs were the worst team in football....
By: SCUBA
I unexpectedly woke up in the middle of the night as if coming out of an exorcism...yelling "what, what, who, noooo!" Drenched in a cold sweat, and the last thing I can remember is having a dream where the Chiefs were the laughing stock of the NFL.
Of course, my wife was concerned with my yelling, but I told her "it was nothing go back to bed." I couldn't get back to sleep so I figured, sure 3 AM is a fine time to start your day. I got out of bed and began the normal daily routine, popped-on SportsCenter and watched the highlights of the Monday night game I just saw.....great game by the way, in case you missed it.
I made some coffee, switched it over to the NFL network, all while laughing at myself regarding the fear I had over some ridiculous dream I just encountered. I just continued to mumble to myself "I can't believe what I was dreaming...that was so ridiculous.....i'm such an idiot....it's the Chiefs for crying out loud...." My heart rate started to fall back to normal levels, I was feeling much more like myself again.
I continued to flip through all of the sports related channels, then I heard it. I did a double take...and I heard it again. Was I hearing this in my head, was it from the dream? I then hit the side of head a few times, until I realized I probably look a little like Kramer slapping the side of his head when he had the water in his ear. So, I quit.
And then I heard it again, this time for the last time. Someone on the NFL network or ESPN said that the Raiders could be the worse team in the NFL, and I chuckled a little bit because we all know it was true. Then it happened....they said "...you probably have to bring the Chiefs in that conversation."
I was shocked by this fool. It was if he just told me that the Titans were 0-4. Or the Broncos were 4-0, or Jamarcus Russel was in the MVP race. Then the mumbling-to-myself proceeded again...What?! What just happened?!?! Who is this idiot on this channel, and how did he get this job?!?! This has to be Matt Millen saying this....nope it wasn't. It wasn't a dream or a nightmare. It was all true.
I checked the standings thinking this just can't be true, we were 2-14 last year with the worst record in Chiefs history. I continued to argue in my head to what was believed to be reality...."but we went out and got a franchise QB, we went out and got the man responsible for building the Patriots team, we went out and got the man responsible for directing a Super Bowl contending offense! I have to be still dreaming...this can't be true, there is no other explanation."
So, I creaked open the laptop which sounded like opening a rusty jail cell and turned it on. Sure enough the Chiefs were 0-4. Shaking my head I continued to check more stats as if the 0-4 was a mirage. Sure enough the Chiefs: #28 in total defense, and #31 in total offense.....in front of only........ the lowly Raiders.
Then it hit me, like the Jerry Jones scoreboard crashing down on-top of me. We (the Chiefs) have become the Raiders.
I felt much like Bruce Willis at the end of the Sixth Sense when the realization set in that he was dead. I too felt like I was dead. My bragging rights had been killed in a slow, 2-year cancerous death. My fanhood had been assassinated.....we are no better than the Raiders.
The most disturbing part of it all.......I am wide awake.